Pain Is An Inevitable Part Of Life.

I now understand why 50 Cent said, “Death has to be easy because life is hard; it’ll leave you physically, mentally, and emotionally scarred.” Pain is one of the most universal human emotions. We are aware of the sensation of pain, as well as its effects and potential outcomes. There is no specific game plan or blueprint for dealing with pain; everyone is different. Everyone has a role to play in this life, whether it is a tragedy or a celebration. I look at everything I’ve overcome and what’s going on now and wonder, “Why me, God?” But God has a reason for everything and its outcome, and he knows the people he sends storms to.

I realized God had given me the ability to be an empath, allowing others to find comfort in me and let down their defenses. I’ve recently been through the most trying time of my life. On September 23, 2022, my cousin was murdered, while my father is battling stage 4 prostate cancer. Some days I don’t feel anything, I’m just navigating and surviving, and other days I’m a jumbled mess who can’t get out of bed. Nobody truly understands how it feels to know that someone purposefully took a life and to see the person you care about more than life suffer in front of your eyes. I would shield JJ if I could. If I could bear the pain for my father, I would. That’s the only thing I can say about myself. I would take the pain for all of my loved ones because I know I’m strong and can weather storms. I am concerned about others because I know that not everybody is equipped to deal with the storms and heartaches that life can bring at times.

I remember the movie “My Sister’s Keeper” every time I think about everything my family and I are going through. Seeing someone you care about go through a battle has to be one of the most difficult things. One memorable aspect of that film is how the cancer of a daughter or sister affects everyone differently. As I previously stated, the domino effect of pain affects everyone associated with this person. The hopeless feeling that nothing you do will help this person you love who is in so much pain. Since I was a child, my father has been a superman to me, lifting me up whenever I needed it, bestowing half of his brilliant mind on me, and illuminating me with righteous morals and values. The thing about sickness is that it has no timetable; it can strike at any time. I’ve been watching my father fight stage 4 prostate cancer for the past two years. I’ve come to the conclusion that I simply want to support whatever he wants. People often will encourage someone to fight on, but my question to myself and others has been, are they fighting for themselves or for you? I will never understand the suffering or pain he is experiencing. I can just be there for him, love him, and do what I can to help.

JJ’s death taught me that every moment spent with someone is valuable; appreciate the time; and don’t take it for granted. One advantage of social media is the ability to keep up with people even if you don’t see them in person. I recall the last time I saw him . We hadn’t seen each other in a year or two. Jessica, my little cousin, was graduating from Orange High School, marking the end of one chapter and the beginning of another. I recall walking in, excited to see all of her hard work pay off and knowing the obstacles she overcame. I ran up the bleachers to see JJ as I was walking to where my family was sitting. His perfect smile was the first thing that drew my attention. You could see it from a mile away. We hugged and he said, “Dre, look at you all fly and shit.” I said, “Child, you know my body.” He sat there telling me about what he’d been up to; his business; his new outlook on life. I was so intrigued to hear about everything. We talked about how we needed to link up more and check up on each other. When the ceremony was finished, we went into the hallway to take pictures. “I gotta go,” he said, tapping my shoulders. “See you later.” “Nice seeing you,” I replied, “you too,” “be safe.” He was murdered on September 17, 2022, while dropping off a rental car from his business to a customer in Brooklyn. Once he noticed the ID was invalid, he proceeded to speak to the individual and was struck immediately and died. A life taken by a soulless human caused a chain reaction of pain for a number of people.

Control is one of the most important lessons I’ve learned from all of this suffering. I’ve learned to let go of the need for control. I’m not in charge of everything. I have no idea how tomorrow will feel or be, but we do know what we have now. God has undoubtedly kept my father alive, and I am grateful and blessed to have him. To avoid regrets, all we can do is learn to let go and let God, and to live in the moment. We must all die at the end. It’s a fate that none of us can avoid, so how you live each day is critical.